Wednesday, September 8, 2010

8/30: Something You Hate About Yourself

Normally, I am against negative blogging. I understand that sometimes events occur that may need a global vent session, but generally...I like happy posts. But, today's post is something I hate about myself...kind of a downer.

Physically- I hate my super pasty legs. There are people who have beautiful pale milky skin, I'm about 3 shades lighter than those people. I'm practically transparent. I have tried the self tanners which is okay, I just can't keep up with it. I can't do tanning beds (claustrophobia). I know your thinking, just stand the sun. Well, some people can lounge in the sun and get a nice toasty glow, I just fry.
It's just my legs I don't like. Probably, because they haven't really seen the sun in a good while so they are paler than the rest of me. I wear tights all the time.
My mother-in-law called me while they were on vacation in Boston to tell me that she saw someone paler than me. We had a great laugh. Now, when we are out and about it's like a scavenger hunt- "Who's paler than Brooke."
Not My Legs...Couldn't find a pic. source

Personally- I hate my uncertainty. I carry it with me like a brick. I am uncertain about my abilities and talents. I am uncertain about my future and if going back to school was the right choice. It's horrible. I wish I didn't doubt myself so much. I'm quite jealous of people who can make choices and never once question their decision. I'm working on it, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me.


P.S. After my post this morning, my dad writes me beautiful email. He takes all the blame for my pasty legs and  stated this:
"I realize doubt is a normal human affliction, but you should not doubt yourself.  You have so much to offer, and doubt will only limit what you can do.  So when doubt shows up, kick it in the ass.  In no time he will get the message and not return."

So I thought I would share some wise words from my wise papa, for anyone else who occasionally carries doubt with them.
Thanks Dad!


Hearthandmade said...

i agree with ur dad! Any doubt or melancholy should always be fleeting and only be indulged for at most a day.


Im also paler than pale. If a flash is on in a photograph you dont see any features on me at all. but... self taners dont work.. i become blotchy and pale.. and then i burn in the sun. But i dont want cancer n i accepted my pasty paleness a long time ago. eventho I look sick ALL the time!

Brooke Ann Dove said...

Thanks for the support. I do embrace my pastiness... but sometimes during the summers in Texas it's so hard.

We should start a club... SPF 70 Scouts! Tee Hee!